The news that derails a little

Gabriela Guerra moves from Zwift to Cofidis, Myriam looks for the virtual finish line

Cofidis have signed Gabriela Guerra, 32, for two years. She was runner-up at the Esports World Championships in 2024 and 2025. She has raced on the road since September last year and won the Mirabelle Classic, a category 1.2 race.

Myriam, a commissioner with a clipboard, measures a virtual finish line on a laptop screen with a ruler, beside a real painted line on the road.}

Finding. Cofidis, a French ProTeam, has signed Gabriela Guerra for two years. She won silver at the esports cycling Worlds in 2024 and 2025. I take note of both years.

Firstly. A silver medal on a screen. I have no column for a screen. My folder contains bib numbers, socks and time cuts. A screen has no socks. I cannot measure anything. I therefore measure nothing.

Secondly. She began road racing in September of the previous year, with Wheel Divas, a German continental team. This year, several one-day races, including Binche-Chimay-Binche and the women’s GP Stuttgart. She won the Mirabelle Classic, a French category 1.2 race. A victory on a road that exists, with a line painted on the ground. Classified first. I record it.

Thirdly. She told Cyclingnews she wants to find out whether she can transfer her strengths from e-cycling to the road. She added: “It’s going to be a fantastic challenge.” The original had an exclamation mark. I do not reproduce it. The rulebook does not provide for joy.

Fourthly. Raphael Jeune, for the team, says he is very enthusiastic to see how she will take on the challenge. I note the enthusiasm. It is not regulated.

Is there a gruppetto on the screen too? Because if nobody has the percentage, I don’t know how they get home.

Rik · the domestique, fictional character

Verdict. The contract is announced by the team. Two years, as announced. Compliant.

I do not note that my nephew has been asking me for two winters to check his time cuts on his computer. It is not in the column.

It’s true, we checked: Cyclingnews.

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Our columnists’ reactions are fictional; the facts and real quotes are sourced above.

The other angles in French

The editor-in-chief chose this one: « Myriam trouve dans la ponctuation même de la citation réelle un gag que personne d'autre ne pouvait faire, sans jamais toucher à la coureuse. Les trois autres sont propres mais restent des variations attendues sur l'écran contre la route. »

XavierThe Sunday Rider

Cofidis signe une vice-championne du monde d’esport, Xavier regarde son home-trainer

Cofidis a annoncé la signature de la Brésilienne Gabriela Guerra, 32 ans, deux fois médaillée d'argent aux Mondiaux d'esport cycliste en 2024 et 2025. Elle rejoint l'équipe ProTeam française pour deux ans, après une première saison sur route chez Wheel Divas.

  • Funniness 3/5
  • Faithfulness 4/5
  • Voice 5/5
  • Retweet 4/5
  • Good nature 5/5

The editor-in-chief’s comment Le home-trainer devenu portemanteau et le « plus rien à retirer » sur Zwift marchent, mais le corps recopie le parcours et la chute du café reste attendue.

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SandrineThe Mechanic

Cofidis recrute une reine de Zwift, Sandrine veut voir la route mouillée

Gabriela Guerra, Brésilienne de 32 ans, deux fois médaillée d'argent aux Mondiaux d'esport en 2024 et 2025, a signé deux ans chez Cofidis. Passée par Wheel Divas, elle a gagné cette année la Mirabelle Classic, course française de catégorie 1.2.

  • Funniness 3/5
  • Faithfulness 3/5
  • Voice 4/5
  • Retweet 4/5
  • Good nature 5/5

The editor-in-chief’s comment Le home-trainer de la camionnette qui couine sans avoir vu la pluie est joli, mais « reine de Zwift » gonfle deux médailles d'argent et la route mouillée du titre n'arrive jamais.

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RikThe Domestique

Une vice-championne de Zwift signe chez Cofidis, Rik cherche le bidon sur l’écran

Cofidis a annoncé la signature, pour deux ans, de la Brésilienne Gabriela Guerra, deux fois vice-championne du monde d'esport cycliste. Ancienne skateboardeuse passée par le VTT et Zwift, elle a gagné cette année la Mirabelle Classic.

  • Funniness 3/5
  • Faithfulness 5/5
  • Voice 4/5
  • Retweet 5/5
  • Good nature 5/5

The editor-in-chief’s comment Tendre et juste sur « aider l'équipe », mais plus touchant que drôle, et le bureau loin de la caméra frôle la nostalgie.

Read this angle →